merely existing can be maddeningly crazy. the world rushes by and around and over and under us, and all we can do is just hold onto ourselves and try not to get swept away. caught up in so many tasks and to-do lists, it seems as though the clock cannot hold enough time in its mechanical pieces to functionally get through them all. and if we were able to schedule everything into our over-booked day planners, there are always plans that fall through and unexpected incidents that change our lives in the blink of an eye. often we have all these grand ideas and hopeful aspirations, and live our lives around them. we look to the future with a single mindset, with an unchangeable desire cemented in our crystal ball. but.
de repente, todo es diferente, y no hay nada hacer
it's always frightening, to find oneself in the middle of an open desert with nothing familiar in reaching distance. the wind picks up and the sand blows around as a dust storm chaos in all its glory.
and it seems so unfair. it's hurtful. it's confusing and chaotic and completely unnecessary. it wasn't time for him to die. we were supposed to be together. i thought that this was where i was meant to be. this isn't what should be happening.
but it is.
so we must learn to look at the mess-ups and the deviances and the tragedies as something grand and meaningful. to take their purposes or even their randomness and make something out of it. somewhere in the universe there is an order to things. there is a plan of attack that the cosmos are just waiting to put into play. and we rarely see it, except for in hindsight. (and at that point, the only thing to do is learn from it for next time, but that never helps in the moments of our suffering.)
so we take the trial and use it in the moment. we become tortured artists, tragically productive in our pain.
1 comment:
Organized uncertainty. I love you Alexis!
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